Overcoming Discouragement

Then I realized that my heart was bitter,

and I was all torn up inside.

I was so foolish and ignorant -

I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you

Yet, I still belong to you;

You hold my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel,

leading me to a glorious destiny.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

I desire you more than anything on earth.

My health may fail and my spirit may grow weak,

but God remains the strength of my heart;

he is mine forever.

Those who desert him will perish,

for you destroy those who abandon you.

But as for me, how good it is to be near God!

I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter,

and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do!

Psalm 73:21-28 (NLT)

Lately, nothing seems to be going right.  At times, I feel so overwhelmed with the oppression around me that it's so difficult not to lose heart.  After a very challenging school year - both at work and in our personal lives, it seems the summer has started off with a continuation of trials.  It seems just as we get our heads above water, something else happens.  As I tossed and turned last night, anxious about the latest turn of events - our Ford Explorer dying on Highway 90 (How much will it cost for Explorer repairs? Just found out, $2600, ugh!!!), I felt that old familiar sense of dread come over me.  I begged for sleep to overtake me.  I prayed for Christ to lift from me the burdens and cares that kept replaying over and over in my head.  I even imagined they were recorded on an old VHS tape and tried to rewind and erase them.  Finally, sleep found me and I awoke this morning refreshed and much more hopeful about all of the circumstances. 

Asaph, the psalmist who wrote Psalm 73, could relate to these feelings of discouragement that I've encountered as of late.  His discouragement arose as he noted how the proud seemed to prosper and succeed - they didn't seem to experience the troubles and problems that those who followed God experienced.  He even questioned why he had kept his heart pure only to awake every morning to pain and troubles.  It seemed to him that life wasn't fair - the wicked prospered while the godly were oppressed.  He became so discouraged that his heart became bitter. 

Like Asaph, I've allowed troubles to embed themselves within me.  I've let down my guard, opening my heart up to attack, creating a spirit of discouragement and fear.  My reality became centered on the troubles and problems of life.  Thus, causing a temporary setback in my spirit.  I now realize just how foolish and ingnorant I must seem to God, to allow such temporal things to cause such disillusionment within me.  

Though bitter and discouraged, Aspah was given a spiritual realignment.  He realized that the proud and wealthy (who do not honor God) live in a dream world.  Their reality is actually not reality at all, but a false dream that leads them away from eternal life in Christ.  When we deviate our focus from God to the troubles in this life, we are also living in a dream - or more appropriately, a nightmare. Problems and troubles are a given, even for Christians.  However, we MUST TRUST God in all circumstances - good or bad!  To become obsessed and anxious over problems misdirects us from the realty of God's truth.  Discouragement blurs our vision, disrupting our line of sight to the Father.  Discouragement derails our faith.  Discouragement leads us along hazardous paths, tricking us into believing the life of faith is futile.  Discouragement wants us to yield our faith and just give up.  

To overcome discouragment, face reality.  Reality isn't this life.  Reality isn't problems or circumstances.  Reality is eternity.  Reality is God's Truth.  True joy, peace, and hope can be your reality instead of dicouragement.  They are not found in your circumstances.  They are not found in riches.  They are not found in the perfect husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, clothes, home, car, etc....They are not found in anything this world has to offer.  Joy, peace, and hope can only be found in Christ Jesus!  God is reality.  Therefore, to overcome discouragement, we need to get as close to Him as we can.  Cling to Christ with all that you are!  He has already taken your right hand and wants to lead you to a glorious destiny.  He's got a grip on you and will never let you go! 

When faced with discouraging circumstances, you can stand in God's strength and righteousness!  You can do all things and face all things in Christ, who strengthens you!  Then, despite your circumstances, tell everyone of the wonderful things He has done!

Don't let discouragement control your reality.  Stand tall in Christ, friends! 

In His Love, Cathy

The Sin of Self-Interest

Self interest is defined as

• opportunism: taking advantage of opportunities without regard for the consequences for others  
• egoism: concern for your own interests and welfare     (courtesy of worldnet.princeton.edu)
• One's personal interest or advantage, especially when pursued without regard for others
  (en.wiktionary.org/wiki/self-interest)

I must confess, I have been guilty of looking out for my own self-interest.  And furthermore, it is a struggle for me not to.  I know that, try as I might, I will continue to struggle with self interest.  Why?  Because it's in my human DNA, it's instinctive, it's a self preservation mechanism.

Without a doubt, our fallen world creates a climate ripe for seeking after one's own best interest. We look out for our best interests, often justifying our actions.  Instead, we are admonished to do something quite contrary to the world, something quite revoluntionary,  something that could have only been brought about by Jesus Christ Himself:

"My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?"  Galatians 5:16 

Paul says that we can starve our selfish nature by CHOOSING to be led by the Spirit!  Christ GAVE us the means to BREAK the sin of self-interest the minute we accepted Him as Lord and Savior - by sending His Own Holy Spirit to live within us!  Once indwelled by the Spirit, it is up to US to CHOOSE to live freely being led by the Spirit - OR not to.  Paul emphasizes here that living freely in the spirit is antitheical to living selfishly.  We can't live both ways.  Friends, we are NO LONGER to live based on how WE feel, flip flopping around from one day to the next!  To do so is counterproductive to the work of the Spirit in our lives AND defiles our testimony for Christ! 

In living a Spirit led life, we must be cautious not to confuse our personal feelings for the Spirit's prompting.  Here's what the study notes of my NLT Bible says about being led by the Spirit:

"Being led by the Holy Spirit involves the desire to hear, the readiness to obey God's Word, and the sensitivity to discern between your feelings and His promptings.  Live each day controlled and guided by the Holy Spirit.  Then the words of Christ will be in your mind, the love of Christ will be behind your actions, and the power of Christ will help you control your selfish desires."

The antidote to self-interest is to FREELY live a life led by the Holy Spirit!  In living freely, the Spirit gives us NEW LIFE (animation) and INCENTIVE (motivation).  Furthermore, those living freely in the Spirit are easily identified by the wonderful fruits produced:  "...love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."  Galatians  5:22 

Does your life reflect the fruits of a Spirit led life or one wrought with self-interest?

Prayerfully seek Him today.  Only He can help you to live freely!

In His Love, Cathy

Confessions of a Children's Pastor: Mistakes & Lessons Learned (Part III)

As a children's pastor, I learned that next to God, people were a key ingredient to accomplishing Kingdom work.  Therefore, it is CRITICAL that ministry leaders don't take people for granted. 

1.  Value People People like to feel valued and validated.  As a leader, you are in the position to instill value in those who serve.  People who feel unvalued or invalidated will not stick, whether they are in a volunteer role or paid staff role. I'm not saying leaders should stroke egos or give undue praise.  What I'm saying is to show genuine concern for those who serve in your ministry area.  Value their opinions, listen to them, appreciate them, and have their back.  Call and check up on them when they are sick.  Visit them in the hospital.  Ask them how they are doing and help those you can.  Don't just dote on those who serve in more visible roles, show each and every person in your minitry you care.  I used to feel as though I didn't have adequate time to do this.  Even though I couldn't hang out with everyone, I at least tried to keep in touch with every volunteer in the ministry.  If I missed someone for a week or two, I would email, call, or seek them out at church to catch up with how they were doing.  Of all the things you can do in ministry, this is so critical in keeping healthy relationships among your team.  In other words, love people like Jesus loves them!   Otherwise, they'll move on to another ministry (or church) where they will feel valued and loved.

2.  Listen to Those Who Serve Even though you are a leader over a ministry area doesn't mean you know it all.  Therefore, another key ingredient to making a ministry successful in Kingdom work is to listen to those who serve in the ministry along with you.  Serving as children's pastor in a church plant had it's challenges.  We were writing the rules as we went.  I often received 'great suggestions' as to how to run the ministry.  However, I learned within the first two years that I couldn't please everyone.  Therefore, I learned to listen to those who had buy-in to the ministry - volunteers who served faithfully.  As a leader, you will be pulled in all different directions.  You may not be aware of the details for specific roles, responsibilities, processes, or functions.  Therefore it is critical to listen to those who ACTUALLY SERVE in these areas.  This doesn't mean you have to do what others think you should do.  However, it's wise to listen when staff or volunteers have an idea or note a way to prevent/improve/solve problems.  Do not discount what anyone says no matter how small their role is in the overall scheme of things.  God can and often does use those the world considers weak and foolish to accomplish great things for His Kingdom - afterall, look at me!  So LISTEN to what those who serve in your ministry say.  Even complaints may have an ounce of truth behind them.  Sometimes, what others say has merit.  Other times, there may not be any merit but simply negative criticism.  Whatever the case, truly listen.  Then prayerfully consider what others have to say and discern how God would have you to respond.  Value their opinion, but if God doesn't lead you to respond in their favor, explain to them why.  Ultimately, you aren't here to please people.  You are here to please God!   

3.  Who Can You Count On?  When I first got started in children's ministry at PCC, I was blown away by the number of volunteers God sent our way.  In the first months of the ministry under my leadership, we had about 40 volunteers!  I remember the first leadership conference I went to.  The other children's pastors were amazed at the number of volunteers who served in our church's children's ministry - though we were still meeting at the High School!  God certainly provided!  The original intention was that if enough people volunteered, volunteers would only have to teach once every 6 to 8 weeks.  This worked for the first month or two.  But not soon after, volunteers started not showing up on Sunday mornings.  Even though I wasn't scheduled to teach, I found myself teaching as a sub every single Sunday.  There were times that we had to combine two classes into one.  Often, people wouldn't even call ahead of time to let me know or they would send word through someone who passed it on to me 10 minutes before the start of children's church!  Irresponsible, yes!  As I became more experienced in children's ministry I realized a few things: 

• It is better to have a small, faithful, committed volunteer base that is manageable versus a large, inconsistent volunteer base.
• Requiring a higher level of commitment may reduce the number of volunteers, but it increases the stability and faithfulness of volunteers who sign on.  You know without a doubt you can count on them.
• People will commit to things they value - communicate the value of ministry in accomplishing Kingdom work, testifying to the works He has accomplished and IS accomplishing in the ministry!
• God is always faithful to send the right volunteers at the right time, even if it is at the last minute-which seemed to happen especially for key events such as Easter and VBS!

The bottom line is this, loving the people who serve and are served by your ministry is not only critical to carry out the ministry of Christ, it is mandated by Christ himself!

 "I give you a new commandment:  love one another. Just as I have loved you, you much also love one another." (John 13:34)

Praying that you love as you lead!

In His Love, Cathy

Beware of Malware!

I haven't been able to blog in about a week.  It's not that I didn't want to, it is because I couldn't.  Why?  Malware! 

Apparently, our youngest child accessed the internet on the laptop, without my permission.  He simply wanted to play some cheesey little 80's style video game that was flashing on our home page.  In order to play, he had to allow it access - thus allowing it to bypass our McAfee security software.  However, unbeknownst to him, he was about to open our computer up to a malware attack!

To make a looooonnnnggg story short, (who am I kidding, I never make a story short), apparently, this malware masked itself as Windows Security Updates - complete with little icons embedded in the task bar and balloons popping up to indicate updates and security risks.  It was a poser!  So, thinking he was doing the right thing, he clicked on it.  And oh, the fun that ensued after that!

Now, get this, our McAfee security didn't even catch it.  Why?  Because some of the files mimiced McAfee security files so the virus scan didn't even find them - even after I upgraded McAfee!  Some of the files also mimiced Windows Security files.  In fact, this malware actually prevented me from upgrading McAfee or downloading any anti-malware software.  However, I was finally able to download the McAfee upgrades.  After about a week, and my spending one whole day,  9 1/2 hours straight of searching for the malware on the laptop, I finally discovered these devious files...77 in all embedded so deeply in so many different folders and locations.

The bad part about this is that is kept installing fake p**n site icons on my desktop that were very graphic along with fake trojan and spam icons.  It also indicated that my laptop was under attack from the outside via the internet and that my identity was being stolen.  The funny thing is, these messages popped up even though I had totally disconnected from our wireless network! It would then prompt me to purchase this fake security software.  It was even so bad that would take control of the laptop after so many minutes, shut it down, and power it back on in an attempt to reconnect to the network.  Thankfully, I was able to quickly respond at each bootup and immediately disconnect from the network before the malware could connect and cause more harm.  But after much diligence, wailing, and gnashing of teeth, all traces of the malware has been eradicated from the laptop.

So, beware of malware!  Make sure you keep your security software up to date.  Keep your guard up - have your firewall turned on and ensure all security settings are set up and running at all times.  And, for heaven's sake, when prompted to update windows, don't assume that it is the real deal.  To be safest, get your software product updates straight from the horses mouth...go to the company's website!  Have your security software scan for viruses, especially after having updated or downloaded anything new. 

In His Love, Cathy

Confessions of a Children's Pastor: Leadership Mistakes (Part II)

Leadership in the church is an awesome responsibility.  In my 6 years as Children's Pastor, as well as 18 years of service in the church as either a volunteer or youth director, I've learned quite a bit about church leadership.  My prayer is to pass along what I've learned to those in leadership. 

1. Seeking God First  This should go without saying, however, sadly there are church leaders and pastors who do not seek God daily.  They don't pray, read the Bible, or incorporate Him into the fabric of their lives.  If you are to not only survive ministry, but succeed at it, God needs to be the #1 person in your life.  Your life should be centered on Him!  I read an article about a Presbyterian Senior Elder who, after 20 years of service, finally admitted that he had never believed in God.  In fact, he stated he had been an atheist all of his life!  Church and ministry leaders, first and foremost, should be men and women of God.  We must live what we preach and teach, otherwise we are liars and our efforts  will not be met with success!

2.  Whoa!  Not so fast!  Another issue that church and ministry leaders deal with is in determining when to plug in new people are eager to get involved with the church.  If they are talented in a particular area of ministry, we are quick to plug them in without hesitation - this is especially true if the church is hurting for people with a particular gift or calling.  Before plugging new people into ministry, we need to do what any employer would do.  First, we need to interview them.  Seek out what brought them to our church.  If their answer reflects that they had unresolved issues at another church, then we need to put on the brakes.  If they are wanting to become involved in a critical, sensitive, or highly visible area, we may need to take a formal application, call references, and even do background checks - especially if they are desiring to work with children.  The best rule of thumb is not to plug new people into a critical or visible role until they have attended church for at least 6 months to a year.  There needs to be a time of observation - a time for them to get to know the church and it's culture - and a time for you to get to know them and their character.  In children's ministry, I'd have new people always wanting to get involved.  In order to get to know them, I'd enlist their help on noncritical tasks first, such as decorating the classrooms or hallways.  I'd work along side of them to get to know them.  I'd interview them in these informal moments.  I'd seek out their level of interest and their commitment level by asking them to help in small ways.  If they agreed and showed faithful commitment, this indicated their willingness to serve.  If they called up time after time, with some excuse as to why they couldn't keep their commitment, they got struck off my list.  Three strikes, and they were out!  I have a saying, "If you want to test the commitment and character of a person seeking to lead in the church, send them to children's ministry!"  If you are faithful in the small things....

I recall one young mother, new to our church, who was so very eager to serve in the preschool ministry.  I could tell she had one of those dynamic personalities and was so energetic - she would be awesome in the classroom.  However, I didn't know her.  She was new and had just moved into our area.  I had learned, from prior mistakes, that plugging someone new into ministry too quickly, without a time of observation is a bad idea.   I needed to get to know her.  She needed to get to know me and our church culture.  Thankfully, she was patient with me and we were so blessed to have her as a preschool teacher.  And when I 'retired' from children's ministry, this wonderful young mother stepped right into the role without missing a beat!  In fact, I knew from the beginning that God had sent my replacement when I met her three years ago!

3.  Catering to the Few and the New  As ministry leaders, we need to be careful of catering to the few and the new.  When I became involved in our church, it was a fairly new church, a church plant only about 5 years old.  In the early days of my ministry, people came and people went.  New people were always showing up.  Often, they would ask us about our children's ministry programs - if we had this program or that program, if we would consider allowing their 3 year old to join the kindergarten class because they were smart for their age and bored in the PRK class, if I would start a children's choir because their son had such an angelic voice and they wanted him to perform in front of the church...and the list goes on and on.  I found myself trying to cater to these requests.  I felt that if I didn't, these new people would take their church business elsewhere.  There were also times where current members wanted to implement specific activities for their children.  So, I'd start a program or schedule the event they requested, and guess what?  Not only did those who made the request NOT help with the event, the children of those very people NEVER even showed up!  After a couple of years of this, I realized that I was chasing my tail trying to please people.  I determined at that point that I was going about it all wrong.  I needed to seek God's guidance.  With this new perspective, I saw that the top priority was to provide ROCK SOLID Bible teachings, teaching the Good News of Jesus Christ - reaching children with the news of Salvation -was first and foremost.  All other events and activities were secondary to this.

4.  Delegate!  Let me clarify this, delegate, but delegate to reliable, responsible people!  I learned that the key to leadership is not trying to do it all myself.  Although I knew I needed to delegate, there were times in ministry that I delegated to the WRONG people.  They were eager to help, but just didn't follow through.  Make sure the people you delegate to are go getters, people you can count on to get the job done.  Your side of the responsibility is to follow up in a timely manner, to ensure they are accomplishing the task.  If you see that nothing is being accomplished, take action.  Either give the responsibility to someone who will get the job done, or cancel it altogether - depending on what it is.  An aside to this is people who come up with great ideas for events or activities, they volunteer to lead it and take care of it from start to finish, but then back out the VERY DAY of the event! Beware of this type of situation - make sure there is a backup plan for EVERY event and activity with a back up person (who is in the know) as the point of contact - otherwise, you'll be that backup person every time!  Oh, how I know this too well!

Praying that God will grant you the wisdom to lead and lead well!  Grace and peace, friends!

In His Love, Cathy

Confessions of a Children's Pastor: Leadership Mistakes (Part I)

Leadership is not for the faint in heart.  Leadership is not a gift that everyone has.  Those desiring to lead in ministry must have the calling of God.  Leadership is tough, it's challenging, yet it can be very rewarding.  I've served and continue to serve in a variety of leadership positions, both in the church and in the secular world, at varying levels ever since high school.  I am hoping to pass on the lessons learned.

1.   Not Knowing Your Leadership Style  Knowing your leadership style is CRITICAL.  If you don't understand how you operate as a leader, what your own talents, gifts, and abilities are as a leader, then how are you going to lead?  Take an honest assessment of yourself as a leader.  Write down your talents, gifts, and abilities.  Then take an honest look at your weaknesses as a leader.  How have you addressed these weaknesses?  Do you have personnel, staff, or volunteers who are gifted in your weak areas shoring up the gap?  If not, why not?  If you don't know what your leadership style is, there are a plethera of books and online resources to help you.

2.  Not Saying No  If you are a leader, expect to be bombarded with requests - requests for your time, requests for money, requests for support of a project or plan.  Though many of these requests have good intentions, they are not always good for the whole.  As a leader, you must discern when to say yes and when to say no.  Don't just flippantly say yes - prayerfully consider the cost, seek the Lord's leading on the matter. And don't just say no without consideration either.  And above all, don't say maybe  - your maybe may mean 'no' but for the other person, it can be misconstrued as a 'yes' - and OH the heartache that can cause when they forge ahead anyway and you have to bring it to a stop!   Jesus said, "Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." (Matthew 5:37)  If you aren't sure, say so - ensuring the person that you'll give it prayerful consideration before making a decision.


3.  Not Following Through  One of the biggest mistakes I've observed leaders make, myself included, is not following through on a promise or project.  If we say that we will do something, then we need to do it.  If, after further evaluation, we see that our original statement or plan is not the best course of action, then we need to fess up and tell all who are involved as to why we are not able to follow through. Leaving people in the dark as to why a project or planned event never happened can come back to bite you later.  A leader who frequently does not follow through on their words or actions will soon loose the trust of those they lead.  Once lost, trust is very difficult to regain.  Lost trust in a leader creates dissatisfaction among the personnel.  Morale goes down, stifling excitement for the vision and halting any forward momentum of the organization or group. 

4.  Making a 180 Degree Turn  I've witnessed leaders make a 180 degree turn - for the bad.  Politicians are well known for this.  A leader who does this often will, again, lose the trust of those who serve under him.    Though there are legitimate times that a leader should change his stance,one who does so often is perceived as wishy washy or untrustworthy.  However, when it is truly necessary to change one's stance, effectively explain to those involved as to why. People will understand when their is a logical explanation.  For example, one year we had to completely call off VBS.  We were still meeting at the school and were anxiously awaiting the completion of our building.  The builder kept moving back the completion date further and further into the summer.  Once it became clear that the building would not be ready until later in the fall, our options were limited.  We did not have use of the school that summer due to school related activities and events.  Once I realized the futile situation we were in, I called off VBS until the next summer.  Everyone was disappointed but completely understood.  The timing was simply not right.  We had such a huge jumpstart on VBS the next year - it was just AWESOME and all in God's timing! 

5.  Lack of Communication/Inadequate Communication  Communication is one of the most important gifts required of leaders.  After all, how can one lead if they don't communicate?  In my own experiences, I often find that great leaders are also great communicators.  They can translate the vision to others in such a way that it takes hold.  The mistake often made by leaders is inadequate or lack of communication - whether deliberate or not.  Communication can make or break your team.  Never assume that people are in the know.  Make sure they know. 

6.  Don't Play Favorites  As a leader it is CRITICAL that we don't play favorites.  Sure, there are people that we will naturally like more than others.  But playing favorites can hurt our leadership - especially in the ministry setting.  Favoritism can make or break our ability to reach out to others in the Name of Christ.   People notice favoritism.  Adults notice.  Teens notice.  Kids notice.  The difference is that kids will call you out on it (which I know from experience) while adults and teens may keep silent, quietly disappearing from the church's radar screen.  Favoritism in the church hurts hearts, stirs up jealousy, and can cause some to turn away from the faith.  James writes, "`My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism.....9But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers." (James 2:1,9)  So do all that is within your power to keep favoritism out!

7.  Lack of Appreciation/Overappreciation  Saying thank you to those who work under your direction is so critically important to the ongoing success of your ministry or organization.  It goes without saying that underappreciating those under your leadership is never a smart thing to do.  Surprisingly, there are leaders who do forget.  But on the other end of the spectrum, overappreciation is also dangerous.  Overappreciation can potentially grow pride in the receiver of such attnetion and may stir up jealousy among team members- thus leading to problems.  And should the leader ever cut back on the attention given to the overappreciated worker, watch out!  They may think the leader has an issue with them and may react negatively.  If so, there will be trouble!  Bottom line, use wisdom.  It doesn't matter how much you prefer some people over others, you are the leader and you must be fair to all.  There is a time and place to recognize greatness among your team, doing so is perfectly valid if it is truly deserved - but do so tastefully and in fairness to all.  Remember, once you put someone on a pedastal, it's hard to take them back down, especially if problems arise. There is a healthy balance to showing appreciation and validating those who are serving along side of you.  So be sure to remember EVERYONE and what they have done.  Success takes everyone on the team - from the person running the copying machine up to the executive in the plush leather chair! 

As you lead others, whether it be in the ministry, in business, in education, or in your own home, keep in mind that you will make mistakes - even great leaders make mistakes. It's bound to happen. So when you do, fess up, get up, knock the dirt off your knees, and try again!

Lead well in Christ, friends!  Grace and peace!

In His Love, Cathy