Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Taming the Tongue

Today, a dear friend of mine was hurt very deeply by a coworker. My friend was apparently the object of an UGLY remark by this person. The remark was in an email meant for someone else. However, it was accidentally sent to my friend. What's more, my friend had not done anything to this person, but only offered her friendship. The coworker didn't even know my friend well enough to make such a comment. What is grievious about this situation is that this coworker is supposedly a Christian! Additionally, it made my friend wonder who the intended recipient(s) were. This meant there were possibly others in agreement with this coworker's opinion of her. My friend began to wonder who was speaking malicious words against her that would cause a coworker she hardly knew to have this opinion of her.

My friend was hurt. She is a godly Christian woman, with a loving heart. She honors God with her life. She would never hurt anyone for any reason! She is always ready to help those in need. She's just such a giving, loving person. I hurt for my friend today, I cried for her, thinking that others had been so mean toward her. My friend bravely confronted the coworker who made the negative remark. To which the person profusely apologized and asked for forgiveness, from what I understand. However, the apology didn't alleviate my friend's pain, though she is one to graciously accept an apology. My dear friend suffered as the consequence of someone else's sin!

Yes, I know, TMI. And yes, I am publicly defending my friend. But there is a VERY IMPORTANT LESSON that we all need to be aware of. We need to TAME OUR TONGUES - resist the temptation to talk about others...at home, at work, in the community. In fact, we shouldn't even go there in our thoughts. "The crooked heart will not prosper;the lying tongue tumbles into trouble." Proverbs 17:20 There is no coincidence that the crooked heart and the lying tongue are coupled together in this verse. Christ said, But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' Matthew 15:17-19 So, whatever is on our heart, in our thoughts, will come tumbling out sooner or later. It will show just how 'clean' or 'unclean' we are on the inside. So, to guard your tongue starts with a guard over your heart...a heart in COMPLETE submission to Christ!

We must also avoid gossip and slanderous speech about others. Psalm 39:1-3 says “I will watch what I do and not sin in what I say. I will hold my tongue when the ungodly are around me.” Our words can crush others. "...a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit." (Proverbs 15:4b) Our words can also damage the testimony we and other believers have for Christ. If I go around making negative remarks about others, then how can I be a valid witness for Jesus? If I gossip about another believer, I am also damaging that person's reputation AND THEIR TESTIMONY for CHRIST! If I spread malicious talk about a Christian brother or sister, I AM HURTING the VERY BODY OF JESUS CHRIST!

Think about it this way. A person who is healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally would never, EVER think of hurting themselves in any way. However, those who are struggling with unhealthy thoughts or emotions might entertain harmful thoughts and possibly act them out. This is akin to those who say and do things that harm others within the Body of Christ. For whatever reason, their spiritual health is such that they do no resist the urge to speak venemous poison about others in the Body. Sure, we're all prone to sin and to stick our big ole foot in our mouths from time to time. However, we should avoid saying anything that would harm others in any way!

So how can we put a guard on our tongues? By being spiritually fit. Personally, when I am the spiritually weak, I'm most prone to a lack of self-control. That is why it is so important to stay spiritually fit by seeking Christ wholeheartedly, spending time in His Word, and praying without ceasing. We should wholly submit ourselves and all areas of our lives to Christ daily, MOST ESPECIALLY OUR TONGUES!

I'm sure this coworker did not start out the day with the plan to hurt my friend. But look at what a lapse in tongue control has caused. Even small, insignificant caddy remarks are hurtful and wrong. The best advice I ever got was to pause. Pause before you speak. Consider the consequences. Pause before you react. Ask yourself if it will bring honor or dishonor to Christ. And, dadgummit, put some duct tape on that mouth if you can't control that tongue!

My dear friend was another casualty of the tongue! I'm sorry, friend! God loves you so much and I do too!

In His Love, Cathy

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