Have you ever experienced relationships where you felt a little confused about where you and the other person really stood? You know, you just can't quite figure the other person out and what the friendship/relationship is really about. Something just doesn't quite fit right. It's like a square peg in a round hole. It may be that trust is missing in the relationship, or respect, or true concern and compassion for one another is missing. It may be that you sense the other person is using you. That they only show care or concern when they are wanting something out of you, you just aren't sure of their motives. We all experience relationships like this in our lives. To be truthful, I am not comfortable in such confusing circumstances. I suspect that none of us are. I surround myself with friends who are transparent and down to earth. I chose to build personal friendships with people who are rock solid, trustworthy, and with whom I know where I stand.
Confusing relationships are not good to be in - whether it be a friendship, a love-interest, or even a marriage. I'm not a counselor nor a pastor, but a person who has experienced life and relationships - the good, the bad, and the ugly. So what I'm about to say is from my heart.
We've all heard that trust and respect are major factors in any successful relationship. And this is true. In addition to trust and respect, each person in the relationship must value the other person - their feelings, their opinions, their interests, their hopes, their dreams, etc...Each person must have a sincere concern for the well-being of the other person. In fact, the Bible says we are to look to the interests of others before our own:
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:" Philippians 2:3-5
What I am advocating is actively working on any confusing relationships in your life, praying over those relationships, and seeking God to help remove the uncertainty in the relationship. And, it might not be just the other person who is causing the confusion. You need to prayerfully consider if you have contributed toward the confusion as well.
Life is far to short to play games. Our actions, even in relationships, have eternal consequences. Therefore, there's no need to tip-toe around in our relationships. Make Christ the center of your life first (love God first), apply Philippians 2:3-5 to everyone (love your neighbor as yourself), and then commit all of your relationships to Him. Nothing confusing about that!
In His Love, Cathy
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