Clothed in Love? Just Call me Grumpy!

Okay, so today started out pretty much like any other normal day of the work week with the usual quiet time, cup of coffee on the patio, a quick check of email and facebook before the mad rush to get ready for work.  I know I could cut out the morning facebook check, but I love wishing my friends happy birthday first thing on facebook and then I usually try to post something positive that will carry me ( and hopefully others) through the day.  So today, I posted a verse from my devotion:

"Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony."

Colossians 3:14

"Clothe yourselves with love," especially struck a chord with me today for some reason.  So I committed myself to treating others with love - after all, I may be the only person in their lives who Christ's love shines through.  Who knows?  So I set about my day with this verse in mind, determined to live it no matter what.  But you know, it's at times like these - the times you are determined to live out a verse's application in your life that you are challenged the most to live it.  And, of course, I was challenged today to clothe myself in love...BIG TIME!

The whole day seemed to be going well until my third block class...my students were not reacting to the lesson as my first two blocks had.  As I taught, I felt the frustration beginning to rise...most of my students not only were disinterested and bored (which I understand in a math class), but some were dozing, not taking notes, and sitting with their arms folded.  (My frustration was with myself for not being able to reach my students.)  So I tried to bust up this streak of boredom by cracking jokes (that had worked in the previous two classes but I guess were lame to those in 3rd block ) and making them stand up and stretch in the middle of the lesson.  I tried but still not a whole lot of improvement.  And although they are a good class, I just couldn't seem to develop the rapport with them as I have in my first two classes - my fault not theirs!

Then came 4th block...now I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my 4th block class.  I've taught many of these same students in a different math class or I've taught their siblings.  They are a joy to teach...that is when they are listening, not sleeping, playing games on the calculator, or joking around when my back was turned thinking I don't know - kind of like they were doing today.  (I mean, come on, they're teens, that's 'how they roll'!)  So I felt that frustration level rising once again. 

Then IT happened! 

IT started slowly... creeping down the right side of my face.  I felt an old familiar numbing feeling - and then -PAIN!  Pain running from the right side of my head into my neck and down to my shoulders!  A full force migraine came out of nowhere!  Really?  I mean really?  Today?  After months of being migraine free, one suddenly decided to show up today!  FYI Mr. Migraine, there is NO RAIN in the forecast!!! Does my brain not know that migraines are NOT allowed unless a front is moving through?   Hellloooo?  Get with the program Mr. Migraine!!!

So, I must confess, as I watched my students secretly laugh, doze off, and completely stare off into outer space, AND ...as my migraine invaded my brain, face and neck...I lost it!  My nice little southern bell composure melted completely away as I ripped through the clothing of love like the Incredible Hulk ripping through a shirt!  The nasty, ugly monster that lay beneath the surface was now exposed!  It was a THROWDOWN!  (Now if I had his muscles maybe students would actually fear me!  LOL!  JK!  But then again, so would my husband!  Hmm...) 

So where was the love? 

Love?  Love? 

There was no love! 

Just grumpiness, grouchiness, and a teacher on the warpath!  I was DONE with this lovey, dovey thing! It was time to bring out the hard core DISCIPLINE - nothing like a good old-fashioned lecture on my expectations of student behavior - yeah, that'll teach them!  (Yes, students will fear my fury!  I will talk you to death as I give you a good lashing of words!  Bwahahahaha!)

Actually...it didn't quite go down like that but I must say, on the inside, this is what I felt like!
So today, I must confess, I FAILED MISERABLY at this love thing! 

But wait, then again, perhaps not.

Perhaps...sometimes, just sometimes, the love we clothe ourselves in must be TOUGH LOVE in order to ultimately achieve that perfect harmony.  Hmm...just sayin'!

Grace and peace!

In His Love, Cathy
PS -BTW...I still LOVE being a teacher...wouldn't trade it for the world  ... AND ... I love my students!