Me vs. the Empty Nest & Aging: A Menopausal's Woman's Rant Against Middle Age

One thing I know is true...life is never dull...it never settles down.  At least that's the way it is in our lives right now.  Sure, we come up for air every now and then, take a deep breath, and then DIVE back into it.  There are times that I long for simpler days...the days of diapers and bottles, when the kids were all at home and our schedules simply consisted of work, day care, and church.  Unrealistic?  Sure.  And though I have no desire to change a diaper ever again, my longing is for a simpler life...a life where family time was the only activity on the agenda. 

I guess I'm feeling the pangs of an impending empty nest.  Matt is gone...he graduated from USAF Basic Military Training back in January, is now in tech school for 5 months in San Antonio, and will be stationed at Edwards Air Force Base in California (Northeast of Los Angeles) when he finishes tech school.  We are so proud of his accomplishments in the Air Force - there is no doubt that this is his calling - he LOVES it!!!  This child who hasn't ever held a gun (aside from a BB gun) qualified his very first week of training as an EXPERT marksman with an M9.  All of those years of investing time and money in sports for him, band, etc... to help him find his interest when all we needed to do was put a gun in his hand!  (I'm saying this jokingly - we're not 'gun' people!)   But it's hard to let him go - especially so far away. Our always so quiet Matt is now a very confident and outgoing young man - volunteering for leadership roles in tech school and highly respected and looked up to by his peers.  And what's more, he's speaking more openly about his faith - faithfully attends not only Chapel but Bible Study.  Yes, Matt is sorely missed.  While at home, he was my right hand guy - dependable, always helpful, responsible, and always there when we needed him.  He loved to volunteer and help out at church, especially on the set up crew when our church met in the school - he would help set up and take down for BOTH adult church and children's church.  Yes, we miss him.  But he's doing what all parents want for their children - for them to grow up and be able to live and succeed in the world - and not end up as a 40 year old bachelor still living in Mom's basement!  I just thought we had a couple of more years with him in college, coming home on weekends, holidays, and summers to live.  His sudden change of plans was a good thing for him, but my heart wasn't prepared for him to 'move out' so soon.

Then there is Brittany.  She graduates from high school next year.  She's already looking at going away to college...Auburn, Troy, Florida State, or University of South Alabama.  You know it wouldn't be so bad except she is my right hand girl (even though she's a leftie).  Plus she is considering going into the medical field which translates to longer schooling.  What am I going to do?  She's been my ally in this houseful of men for all these years - able to take all of them on at once - taking them down with a single disapproving look, defiant bob of her head, one hand on her hip, and the other pointing an accusing finger in their face!  She can get just as physical with them as well...she's learned to survive in this man cave of a house!  All I can say is some young man one day will be very lucky, she will be that one of a kind wife who loves to watch sports (any kind), understands them, and can ACTUALLY PLAY them (except for volleyball...I guess it's not her forte...but football...she loves playing corner back and stopping the offense...I guess she gets that from her Dad ... he and his friend Dale called themselves quarterback killers back in the old middle school football days.)  But I digress. Back to the empty nest.

But wait, you say, there's still Michael!  He's only in 6th grade!  Let me tell you friends, based on experience, it seems like elementary school lasts forever.  Once a child hits middle school, time flies.  And it seems to fly by faster and faster for each successive child.  In a blink of an eye, little Michael will be crossing the stage receiving his diploma.  It won't be long before our funny man will be moving on as well.  He already has decided his future - he wants to join the Air Force just like big brother! 

And as if the empty nest syndrom isn't enough, I'm getting old on top of it all!!!  You may think I'm not old, but let me tell you friend, my body says otherwise!!!  I've had health issues since my early 20s and had just about every organ removed that a person can humanly live without (Scott says I'm half the woman he married...I told him that's okay, he's twice the man I married:) ....)  ... after having a respite of good health for a few years, these past two years have seen a resurgence of issues.   My diagnosis...OLD AGE!  Now before you roll your eyes, let me explain...I have NO THYROID due to thyroid cancer.  Yes, I know I'm sounding like a broken record on this thyroid stuff, but I swear, it seems to be the root of all issues...and my body is experiencing double jeopardy because I've had a total hysterectomy, am post menopause which equals to this:  My body thinks I'M OLD!!!! 

I was diagnosed with early Osteoperosis (initial stage which is called osteopenia).  Found out that little jewel this past summer.  Then this week (Monday) I was diagnosed with high blood pressure (my blood pressure got up 163/119 but leveled out this week around 140/82-98 which is till a little too high).  So now I'm on blood pressure medication and taking my blood pressure several times a day (yes, I had to buy a blood pressure machine)!  This is DESPITE my exercise regimen that I started this past summer almost faithfully (walking and yoga) and eating better.  And my baby turns 21 on Tuesday, which doesn't help me feel any younger!  Stupid AGING process!!!  But then again, maybe if I didn't use so many exclamation points when I write, my blood pressure would go down!!!

So, it's me vs. the empty nest and aging.  I'm being double teamed!!!  I may not win, but I PROMISE YOU ONE THING, I'm not going down without a FIGHT!!!  Hallelujah!!!

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,

but God remains the strength of my heart;

he is mine forever.

Psalm 73:26

Grace and peace, friends!
In His Love, Cathy