Confessions of a Children's Pastor: Leadership Mistakes (Part I)

Leadership is not for the faint in heart.  Leadership is not a gift that everyone has.  Those desiring to lead in ministry must have the calling of God.  Leadership is tough, it's challenging, yet it can be very rewarding.  I've served and continue to serve in a variety of leadership positions, both in the church and in the secular world, at varying levels ever since high school.  I am hoping to pass on the lessons learned.

1.   Not Knowing Your Leadership Style  Knowing your leadership style is CRITICAL.  If you don't understand how you operate as a leader, what your own talents, gifts, and abilities are as a leader, then how are you going to lead?  Take an honest assessment of yourself as a leader.  Write down your talents, gifts, and abilities.  Then take an honest look at your weaknesses as a leader.  How have you addressed these weaknesses?  Do you have personnel, staff, or volunteers who are gifted in your weak areas shoring up the gap?  If not, why not?  If you don't know what your leadership style is, there are a plethera of books and online resources to help you.

2.  Not Saying No  If you are a leader, expect to be bombarded with requests - requests for your time, requests for money, requests for support of a project or plan.  Though many of these requests have good intentions, they are not always good for the whole.  As a leader, you must discern when to say yes and when to say no.  Don't just flippantly say yes - prayerfully consider the cost, seek the Lord's leading on the matter. And don't just say no without consideration either.  And above all, don't say maybe  - your maybe may mean 'no' but for the other person, it can be misconstrued as a 'yes' - and OH the heartache that can cause when they forge ahead anyway and you have to bring it to a stop!   Jesus said, "Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." (Matthew 5:37)  If you aren't sure, say so - ensuring the person that you'll give it prayerful consideration before making a decision.


3.  Not Following Through  One of the biggest mistakes I've observed leaders make, myself included, is not following through on a promise or project.  If we say that we will do something, then we need to do it.  If, after further evaluation, we see that our original statement or plan is not the best course of action, then we need to fess up and tell all who are involved as to why we are not able to follow through. Leaving people in the dark as to why a project or planned event never happened can come back to bite you later.  A leader who frequently does not follow through on their words or actions will soon loose the trust of those they lead.  Once lost, trust is very difficult to regain.  Lost trust in a leader creates dissatisfaction among the personnel.  Morale goes down, stifling excitement for the vision and halting any forward momentum of the organization or group. 

4.  Making a 180 Degree Turn  I've witnessed leaders make a 180 degree turn - for the bad.  Politicians are well known for this.  A leader who does this often will, again, lose the trust of those who serve under him.    Though there are legitimate times that a leader should change his stance,one who does so often is perceived as wishy washy or untrustworthy.  However, when it is truly necessary to change one's stance, effectively explain to those involved as to why. People will understand when their is a logical explanation.  For example, one year we had to completely call off VBS.  We were still meeting at the school and were anxiously awaiting the completion of our building.  The builder kept moving back the completion date further and further into the summer.  Once it became clear that the building would not be ready until later in the fall, our options were limited.  We did not have use of the school that summer due to school related activities and events.  Once I realized the futile situation we were in, I called off VBS until the next summer.  Everyone was disappointed but completely understood.  The timing was simply not right.  We had such a huge jumpstart on VBS the next year - it was just AWESOME and all in God's timing! 

5.  Lack of Communication/Inadequate Communication  Communication is one of the most important gifts required of leaders.  After all, how can one lead if they don't communicate?  In my own experiences, I often find that great leaders are also great communicators.  They can translate the vision to others in such a way that it takes hold.  The mistake often made by leaders is inadequate or lack of communication - whether deliberate or not.  Communication can make or break your team.  Never assume that people are in the know.  Make sure they know. 

6.  Don't Play Favorites  As a leader it is CRITICAL that we don't play favorites.  Sure, there are people that we will naturally like more than others.  But playing favorites can hurt our leadership - especially in the ministry setting.  Favoritism can make or break our ability to reach out to others in the Name of Christ.   People notice favoritism.  Adults notice.  Teens notice.  Kids notice.  The difference is that kids will call you out on it (which I know from experience) while adults and teens may keep silent, quietly disappearing from the church's radar screen.  Favoritism in the church hurts hearts, stirs up jealousy, and can cause some to turn away from the faith.  James writes, "`My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism.....9But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers." (James 2:1,9)  So do all that is within your power to keep favoritism out!

7.  Lack of Appreciation/Overappreciation  Saying thank you to those who work under your direction is so critically important to the ongoing success of your ministry or organization.  It goes without saying that underappreciating those under your leadership is never a smart thing to do.  Surprisingly, there are leaders who do forget.  But on the other end of the spectrum, overappreciation is also dangerous.  Overappreciation can potentially grow pride in the receiver of such attnetion and may stir up jealousy among team members- thus leading to problems.  And should the leader ever cut back on the attention given to the overappreciated worker, watch out!  They may think the leader has an issue with them and may react negatively.  If so, there will be trouble!  Bottom line, use wisdom.  It doesn't matter how much you prefer some people over others, you are the leader and you must be fair to all.  There is a time and place to recognize greatness among your team, doing so is perfectly valid if it is truly deserved - but do so tastefully and in fairness to all.  Remember, once you put someone on a pedastal, it's hard to take them back down, especially if problems arise. There is a healthy balance to showing appreciation and validating those who are serving along side of you.  So be sure to remember EVERYONE and what they have done.  Success takes everyone on the team - from the person running the copying machine up to the executive in the plush leather chair! 

As you lead others, whether it be in the ministry, in business, in education, or in your own home, keep in mind that you will make mistakes - even great leaders make mistakes. It's bound to happen. So when you do, fess up, get up, knock the dirt off your knees, and try again!

Lead well in Christ, friends!  Grace and peace!

In His Love, Cathy