Confessions of a Children's Pastor: Leadership Mistakes (Part II)

Leadership in the church is an awesome responsibility.  In my 6 years as Children's Pastor, as well as 18 years of service in the church as either a volunteer or youth director, I've learned quite a bit about church leadership.  My prayer is to pass along what I've learned to those in leadership. 

1. Seeking God First  This should go without saying, however, sadly there are church leaders and pastors who do not seek God daily.  They don't pray, read the Bible, or incorporate Him into the fabric of their lives.  If you are to not only survive ministry, but succeed at it, God needs to be the #1 person in your life.  Your life should be centered on Him!  I read an article about a Presbyterian Senior Elder who, after 20 years of service, finally admitted that he had never believed in God.  In fact, he stated he had been an atheist all of his life!  Church and ministry leaders, first and foremost, should be men and women of God.  We must live what we preach and teach, otherwise we are liars and our efforts  will not be met with success!

2.  Whoa!  Not so fast!  Another issue that church and ministry leaders deal with is in determining when to plug in new people are eager to get involved with the church.  If they are talented in a particular area of ministry, we are quick to plug them in without hesitation - this is especially true if the church is hurting for people with a particular gift or calling.  Before plugging new people into ministry, we need to do what any employer would do.  First, we need to interview them.  Seek out what brought them to our church.  If their answer reflects that they had unresolved issues at another church, then we need to put on the brakes.  If they are wanting to become involved in a critical, sensitive, or highly visible area, we may need to take a formal application, call references, and even do background checks - especially if they are desiring to work with children.  The best rule of thumb is not to plug new people into a critical or visible role until they have attended church for at least 6 months to a year.  There needs to be a time of observation - a time for them to get to know the church and it's culture - and a time for you to get to know them and their character.  In children's ministry, I'd have new people always wanting to get involved.  In order to get to know them, I'd enlist their help on noncritical tasks first, such as decorating the classrooms or hallways.  I'd work along side of them to get to know them.  I'd interview them in these informal moments.  I'd seek out their level of interest and their commitment level by asking them to help in small ways.  If they agreed and showed faithful commitment, this indicated their willingness to serve.  If they called up time after time, with some excuse as to why they couldn't keep their commitment, they got struck off my list.  Three strikes, and they were out!  I have a saying, "If you want to test the commitment and character of a person seeking to lead in the church, send them to children's ministry!"  If you are faithful in the small things....

I recall one young mother, new to our church, who was so very eager to serve in the preschool ministry.  I could tell she had one of those dynamic personalities and was so energetic - she would be awesome in the classroom.  However, I didn't know her.  She was new and had just moved into our area.  I had learned, from prior mistakes, that plugging someone new into ministry too quickly, without a time of observation is a bad idea.   I needed to get to know her.  She needed to get to know me and our church culture.  Thankfully, she was patient with me and we were so blessed to have her as a preschool teacher.  And when I 'retired' from children's ministry, this wonderful young mother stepped right into the role without missing a beat!  In fact, I knew from the beginning that God had sent my replacement when I met her three years ago!

3.  Catering to the Few and the New  As ministry leaders, we need to be careful of catering to the few and the new.  When I became involved in our church, it was a fairly new church, a church plant only about 5 years old.  In the early days of my ministry, people came and people went.  New people were always showing up.  Often, they would ask us about our children's ministry programs - if we had this program or that program, if we would consider allowing their 3 year old to join the kindergarten class because they were smart for their age and bored in the PRK class, if I would start a children's choir because their son had such an angelic voice and they wanted him to perform in front of the church...and the list goes on and on.  I found myself trying to cater to these requests.  I felt that if I didn't, these new people would take their church business elsewhere.  There were also times where current members wanted to implement specific activities for their children.  So, I'd start a program or schedule the event they requested, and guess what?  Not only did those who made the request NOT help with the event, the children of those very people NEVER even showed up!  After a couple of years of this, I realized that I was chasing my tail trying to please people.  I determined at that point that I was going about it all wrong.  I needed to seek God's guidance.  With this new perspective, I saw that the top priority was to provide ROCK SOLID Bible teachings, teaching the Good News of Jesus Christ - reaching children with the news of Salvation -was first and foremost.  All other events and activities were secondary to this.

4.  Delegate!  Let me clarify this, delegate, but delegate to reliable, responsible people!  I learned that the key to leadership is not trying to do it all myself.  Although I knew I needed to delegate, there were times in ministry that I delegated to the WRONG people.  They were eager to help, but just didn't follow through.  Make sure the people you delegate to are go getters, people you can count on to get the job done.  Your side of the responsibility is to follow up in a timely manner, to ensure they are accomplishing the task.  If you see that nothing is being accomplished, take action.  Either give the responsibility to someone who will get the job done, or cancel it altogether - depending on what it is.  An aside to this is people who come up with great ideas for events or activities, they volunteer to lead it and take care of it from start to finish, but then back out the VERY DAY of the event! Beware of this type of situation - make sure there is a backup plan for EVERY event and activity with a back up person (who is in the know) as the point of contact - otherwise, you'll be that backup person every time!  Oh, how I know this too well!

Praying that God will grant you the wisdom to lead and lead well!  Grace and peace, friends!

In His Love, Cathy