So, this past Saturday, after Michael's morning soccer game, I decided to trim the hedges in our front yard. It was a BEAUTIFUL day. The weather couldn't be any more perfect...it was mild, early autumn weather. A wonderful day for yard work. I thought, "No problem. The shrubs need a trim." It was just a great day to be outside!
What I neglected to think about was the fact that the front shrubs had not been trimmed in 2 years. We've just been so busy between work, kids, ministry, and lots of other stuff that we've just not had the time for much upkeep other than lawn mowing. The shrubs didn't look too bad. The crepe myrtles were a little big. But still, no big deal.
I went into the garage and got out the hedge trimmers. As I set to my task, I quickly learned the hedge trimmers were not the tool for the job. They just weren't 'cutting it.' (Ha...ha...I made a funny...cutting it...get it...ok...back to the story). I was just a little frustrated at this point, until my mind came up with a wonderful solution...THE CHAIN SAW!!! PERFECT!!! But there was a catch. We had never used our chain saw. It was still in the box. We bought it after Hurricane Dennis to chop up debris. But since we had no more trees left in our yard, we've not had the opportunity to use it. I quickly pulled the chain saw out of the box and began to eagerly read the instructions. I was sure that I could get this new chain saw operational and my schrubs & crepe myrtles would be trimmed in no time flat. Shoot, in an hour, I was sure to be soaking in a tub of bubbles, votive candles surrounding me, with shrub trimming long behind me! BOY WAS I SO WRONG.
First, I had to mix the fuel with 2 cylinder engine oil. You guys know what I'm talking about. Then I had to put the fuel in the tank. But I also had to put bar & chain oil in the chain saw as well. I did both with little trouble. Oh, I was excited! "I am woman! Hear me roar!" I just knew I was on my way to trimming shrubs! But then, I tried to crank the saw. I couldn't CRANK IT! Yes, I turned it on and pulled the choke throttle, or whatever that thingy is called. I tried and I tried. I just wasn't STRONG ENOUGH on my own. Then, I got another idea. My daughter! Yes, she could help. Britt is 5'6" and much stronger than I am. Between the two of us, we CAN crank up that chain saw! I called her to come outside. We took turns holding the chain saw and trying to crank it. Then I held it down on the ground, and she tried to crank it. We could not get it cranked to save our lives!
So why didn't I get Scott, (my husband) to help? Well, he wasn't home!He was at a cross country meet with his team. I guess him being coach that morning was more important than HELPING ME CRANK THIS STUPID CHAINSAW!!! So, defeated by the chainsaw, I waited. I waited for my handsome prince to come home and rescue me from my foolish feat! Boy, was I embarrassed. "I am woman, hear me roar!" Yeh, right! I was more like "I am woman, hear me wimper!"
Finally, my hero pulls up in his trusty minivan! As he approaches me, eager to share his team's cross country results, I pounce. "I need help cranking this saw." With a concerned, curious look on his face, he quizzes me, "Why?" "Because I need it to trim the shrubs," I whine. With an even more concerned look he asks, "Why?" "Because the hedge trimmers are too wimpy! Just PLEASE crank this saw." So, he tries. It cranks! Ah, the loud roar that it made was joy to my ears, until...he noticed the chain wouldn't move...whether the brake was on or off, the chain didn't budge. He loosened the chain, still no movement! UGGGHHHH!!!! We took it apart and put it together again. STILL NO MOVEMENT! WHY ME???
Then, he gave the brake one more try. Finally, it released the chain and I was in business! That day, my shrubs felt the fury of my frustration! AHHH, what stress relief! Three hours later, my shrubs were trimmed, crepe myrtles thinned, and all was right in the shrub world. Although writing is a stress relief for me, I think I've come across a new way to deal with stress...Chain Saw Therapy! Sounds like a therapy for serial killers, doesn't it:-)
Happy Chain Sawing! Grace and pieces!
In His Love, Cathy
3 comments:
Oh, my gosh! I am crying from laughing so hard. Remind me not to mess with you. You're kind of scary now.
Actually, I think you should bring your chainsaw to Church. I know of one little boy that would be on his absolute BEST behavior if you had a chainsaw sitting on your podium. :)
PS, that word verification was HARD! I hope I passed. :)
OMG - I had to LAUGH at this posting. There is something about a chainsaw in the hands of a woman that makes us feel POWERFUL, huh?
Give me a chainsaw on a cold winter day, and LOTS of downed trees, and I can saw away all my worries in a day!
lol
I'm cracking up even now, reading what you guys have commented back to me...I think I might add chain sawing to my classroom management strategies:-)
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