"Judge not, and you shall not be judged.
Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned.
Forgive and you will be forgiven."
Luke 6:37
I knew a young man once who, when he became disillusioned with someone, he would just give up on the person. It didn't take much to disappoint this young man and if you messed up in his eyes, he was done with you. I saw him end relationships simply because the other person disappointed him in some way. Whatever the reason, once the person crossed this young man's invisible line of disapproval, they were written out of his life. No second chances. He would also sometimes become disrespectful, critical, and unapologetically cynical of those who fell out of grace with him. He had a wonderful upbringing with great parents. Yet for some reason, he had this critical spirit about him. This young man today is determined to go into ministry, yet he is still dealing with people in the same manner he always has. Unfortunately, he's going to have a very difficult time in ministry with the trait of unforgiveness. My prayers are for him, praying that Jesus Christ can bring about the change in him needed to fulfill the ministry calling. My heart goes out to him.
This month my devotions are focusing on relationships - what it means to really love others and to forgive them. I thought about this young man today as I was reading my devotionals. I thought about how at times I can also be very much like this young man - so 'hell bent' on how I've been hurt or offended that I'm not willing to forgive others. I reflected on the times I didn't want to forgive because the person hurt me so badly. I realized there are times that I fight to hold on to that grudge just as long as I can - thinking that it's my right by golly and that by holding that grudge I'm really puttin' a hurtin' on the other person! But the only person it really hurts is me. I've also thought of friends and family who have been deeply hurt and, as a result, having difficulty forgiving others. They can't seem to move on past the hurt. They are holding on to it for dear life, not wanting to forget, not wanting to forgive. They are simply stabbing themselves with the painful memories causing the original wounds to go even deeper, thus never healing. Their unforgiveness is their way of getting revenge on those who hurt them. But again, the only people they are hurting are themselves. They can not enjoy the blessings of God's goodness because they are blinded by the unforgiveness.
Not a single one of us is perfect. We've been hurt and we have hurt others as well. We've even hurt our Lord and Savior - for it was our sin that nailed Him to that cross. Others let us down and we let others down. We've even disappointed our Lord. But He forgives every time we ask. He is a God of infinite chances. When Peter asked Jesus if he should forgive someone 7 times, Jesus replied, "No, not seven time, but seventy times seven." (Matthew 18:21-22) We are to give others just as many chances as Christ has given us - infinitely many. In fact, our relationship with God Himself hinges on our ability to forgive. Jesus says in Matthew 6:14-15, "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But it you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." Whoa! Did you see that? If we are unable to forgive, then we won't be forgiven?!?!?! What's the deal with that?
If we refuse to forgive others, then God will refuse to forgive us when we sin! Oh it's so easy to ask God to forgive us, but are we operating with the same portion of Grace toward's others that God so freely offers us? When we are unforgiving toward others, we are showing our true heart condition - a hardened heart incapable of loving others as Christ does. When we deny others the same type of forgiveness God is so willing to bestow upon us, we damage the relationship we have with our Heavenly Father. We may be saved, but the sin of our unforgiveness towards others builds a wall between us and God!
In the words of Dr. Charles Stanley, "When you refuse to let go of a past hurt or you continue to nurse a grudge, you create a spot of hardness in your heart. Over time, as layers and layers of hardness accumulate, you heart becomes stiff and insensitive to the extent that you are almost incapable of giving or receiving love." Not only are you incapable of giving or receiving love from other people, but from God as well. That's what the sin of unforgiveness can do to us! And... NO ONE IS IMMUNE to a heart hardened by unforgiveness.! I don't think anyone wants this for themselves. I don't think anyone wants even a tiny dose of this condition.
We are to forgive, especially those who are in the Body of Christ. In Ephesians 4:31-32 Paul admonishes us to "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." We are to 'bear with one another' in love. Unfortunately for some of us, this is a challenge. We've been hurt so badly it's hard to forgive. Due to our life circumstances or our tendency towards a negative spirit, it may be difficult for us to be so forgiving and merciful towards others - even those within the Body. But if we desire an UNHINDERED relationship with our loving and forgiving Lord, we must forgive others and be more tenderhearted towards them. THIS is the LOVE of JESUS CHRIST in action!
So, who do you need to forgive today? What's keeping you from forgiving them? Pride? Pain? There's no good reason NOT to forgive, but EVERY GOOD REASON to FORGIVE!
God bless you, friends! May His Grace and Tender Mercies be upon You!
In His Love, Cathy
2 comments:
I was reflecting about the young man you described at the beginning of your post. When I was a young believer and new in the ministry I was like him in some ways. I was very impatient and often intolerant with people who fell short of my expectations. I preached a standard of holiness that no one could live up to – even me – yet I preached it anyway. I preached so hard that no one was going to make it to heaven…. unless they measured up to me.
The only thing I can say in my defense was that my zeal was born out of a desire to please God. But over time it turned into self-righteousness. Fortunately, God delivered me from myself. I had a revelation in my spirit in which I finally realized that God was much bigger that my perception of Him, that He was working in people’s lives according to His will, and that I was not the standard for everyone else to live up to. It was the biggest growth spurt towards maturity I’ve ever experienced. It completely changed the course of my Christian life, as well as my ministry. The minister I am today is a long way from the pastor I used to be.
If I could say one thing to that young man, it would be this: “If you want to MINISTER to people, you have to get beyond being SHOCKED by people.”
“…. Love covers a multitude of sins” (I Peter 4:8)
Very well said. And...we all go through those seasons of self-righteousness where no one seems to measure up to our 'religious' standards. Sometimes in our youthful zeal, or zeal for God, we are too quick to judge and condemn. Like you've said many times, ministry is messy. You are dealing with a lot of hurt people, imperfect people. An unforgiving heart is not the right tool for the trade.
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