On the Other Side of Forgiveness

"Fools make fun of guilt,

but the godly acknowledge it and seek reconciliation."

—Proverbs 14:9

Yesterday I wrote about the downfall of having an unforgiving heart. If we can't forgive, then we ourselves are not to expect forgiveness either. Even though we are to forgive others, that doesn't mean that the offender isn't held accountable for their actions. Yes, we are to forgive, because we've been forgiven. Yes, we are to 'forget' and not hold a grudge, just as God forgets our sins when He forgives us. However, there's another side to this equation. The offender must also recognize their need to repent and seek forgiveness. We may not have control over this side of the equation, but Jesus tells us what we can do to help the sinner arrive at repentance and forgiveness:

"So watch yourselves! If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive,. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive." - Matthew 18:3,4

In this passage, we see that we are to rebuke fellow believers who sin. Now the image I have of someone being rebuked is a good old fashioned preacher beating some lowly sinner down with the Bible in his hand and the sinner skulking away on all fours like a dog, tail tucked between their legs. However, rebuking doesn't mean a verbal beat down of the sinner. It doesn't mean to point out every single offense the person has committed. To do so would be plain out mean spirited and is counterproductive. No, Jesus meant something quite different than this. The goal of rebuking is to help the person recognize their sin(s), help them to repent, seek forgiveness, and ultimately be restored to fellowship within the church and with God. Loving correction should be applied to the sinning person in hopes of restoring a right relationship between them, God, and the Body.

Rebuking others is not our personal tool to wield as we please. It is not designed to use on those who've hurt our feelings or unknowingly offended us over trivial matters. Rebuking is reserved for believers who need help in overcoming unconfessed sin - who have truly sinned against God and/or others. But before we rebuke another, we first need to examine our own hearts to ensure we are not acting out of revenge or seeking to elevate our own cause for justice. We need to check our attitude. Are we rebuking the person to restore their fellowship with God and other believers? Or are there other personal reasons that are the driving force behind the rebuke? We need to check our motivation. Do we really love this person? Do we really desire to help them? And here's the tough one - are we completely innocent ourselves or did we play a role in the problem as well? Is there a possibility we just as guilty of sinning against them?

Another point Jesus makes in this passage is that we are to forgive. Once the person repents, we are to forgive. The commentary in my Student Application Study Bible says of Matthew 17:3,4, "Unless rebuke is tied to forgiveness, it will not help the sinning person." And remember, helping the sinning person is the goal of rebuke. In fact, Jesus went on to say that even if the person sins against us seven times a day, we are to forgive EVERY SINGLE TIME THEY ASK US. So we have here the perfect formula: Rebuking + Repenting + Forgiveness = Reconciliation

As imperfect beings, we need to recognize where we fit into the equation. Sometimes we are the ones who sin and need loving correction. To keep ourselves from falling into sin, we need to DAILY ask God to examine our hearts to reveal any unconfessed sin. Once exposed, repent and seek God's forgiveness. THEN DON'T GO BACK TO THAT SIN! We also need to seek the forgiveness of those we have sinned against and do our best to reconcile. In Abundant Gifts: A Daybook of Grace-Filled Devotions, Diane Eble says, "The godly thing to do when we are truly guilty is to acknowledge it and seek forgiveness and reconciliation, whether it's with God, another person, or, most often, both."

On the other side of forgiveness there is reconciliation and restoration. Isn't that what Christ died for?

In His Love, Cathy