From the Pew: My First Sunday as a 'Civilian'

Wow! Today was a very strange day for me. For the first time in almost
seven years, I simply went to church. The whole week leading up to this moment was strange. Because I was bi-vocational, I would typically spend every spare moment of my time working on ministry 'stuff' from the moment church let out each Sunday. I'd teach all day then go work at home or at the church after hours on ministry tasks. "Crunch time" usually hit Thursday afternoons and a typical Friday night consisted of me working at church until 7 or 8 p.m. Even Saturdays were spent working on ministry tasks - whether at home or up at the church. Recruiting volunteers was sqeezed into opportune moments. With limited time and a growing ministry, I felt like I was drowning in a sea of unmet tasks and increasing demands of the ministry.

So my first week after children's ministry was very strange. I felt like a slacker! There was no 'crunch time' this week. In fact, Friday found Scott and I finally celebrating our anniversary with a mini-getaway - something that we've not been able to do in years. Then came Saturday. The feeling that I had something to prepare for Sunday haunted me the whole day. I kept pinching myself, thinking I was in a dream. Our lives have revolved around children's ministry for so very long that I still can not imagine life without it. In fact, my teaching career and children's ministry both started within a year or two of each other. So the idea of focusing on just teaching is so very alien to me.

For almost 7 years, the responsibilities of ministry dominated quite a big part of my life as well as my family's lives. And though this past week without it seemed foreign, the realization of just how dramatic a change it would be for us hit this morning. For the first time in almost 7 years, I didn't get up extra early to look over the children's lesson, practice the worship songs, or ensure the technology was still working. I didn't have to arrive at church by 8:30 a.m. to finish set up, connect the laptop to the projector and sound equipment, and test it all out - because, you know, there is always a technological glitch. For the first time in such a very long time, as my daughter noted, we didn't have to carry in several big bags containing the laptop, supplies, lessons, and other materials needed for kids church. All that I had to carry was a purse and Bible. AND, we could leave as soon as first service was over! So very strange!

How strange it was to sit in first service. I've never sat in first service. Ever! There were so many people I didn't know and who didn't know me. A few greeted me as though I was visiting for the first time. It was quite humorous to see their reaction when I introduced myself. Many, I'm sure, had never known who I was though might have heard of me. I was always in the back serving the children. So, unless they had a child, they had no idea who I was. And you know, as I sit and think about it, I truly was a visitor to first service. I'd always attended second service. So I was a perfect stranger to many who call PCC their home church - to the very congregation whose children and grandchildren I served. That idea strikes me as odd but true.

Sitting in first service today was so refreshing! Though the experience seemed surreal to me, I know that God is exposing me to other experiences, growing me, stretching me, helping me to see His bigger picture for this church. I'd been in the back so long that my view was blurred. Though I missed the children and was delighted to see them after service, I still know that my stepping down as children's pastor was God's calling. I feel a little lost, not knowing what God is wanting me to do next. But that's okay. Right now He's made it clear that I am to be still and rest in Him...so that I can be ready to serve Him in a different way. God is doing a new thing in all of this. It's going to be neat watching it unfold.

When God asked me to step down as children's pastor, I thought of a lot of reasons not to. I questioned why, I wondered how I could give it up, I struggled with what would happen to the children. It seemed that God asked so much of me when He called me into children's ministry to begin with. It was a huge sacrifice on my and my family's part. However, it seemed God was asking so much of me when He called me to give it up. The point is, sometimes God asks us to do what we don't think we can. He may ask more of us. He may ask us to give something up that we love - even something that is good, that we have emotionally invested in, something we have helped give birth to. We need to be ever watchful, ever listening, and always ready to respond in obedience when He moves. We never can assume what God wants of us. Instead, we need to seek and ask Him. He won't ask of us something He is not willing to help us do. He is ready and more than able to help.

And, by the way, today's service was just wonderful. Ron's message was right on target. I want a heart like Caleb's - wholeheartedly devoted to God, believing HIM to move mountains! The worship was exceptional...and singing "I'm Free...I'm Free" took on a whole new meaning for me today:-) LOL!!! AND...Christy and Richelle did a fabulous job in the children's ministry! The kids were so excited over the new songs they learned today and learning the books of the Bible. God's got big plans and I'm thankful He has the right people in place to do the job!

Yes, today I was blessed with a new view from the pew. This is going to take some getting used to!

"As for me and my house, we will" STILL "serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

In His Love, Cathy