Finding That Which was Lost (Part II)

Wow, where do I begin? So much has been happening over the last several weeks. To say that it's overwhelming is a HUGE understatement. So many lives have been impacted. So many lives have been changed - forever.

In a previous blog, 'Finding That Which was Lost,' (http://bloggin4god.blogspot.com/2009/03/finding-that-which-was-lost.html), I shared with you the possibility that my husband's biological family had found him. If you didn't read that article, click on the link and give it a good read. It will lay the important groundwork for what God has done in all of this. In summary, Scott was adopted at birth. His was a closed adoption. He had no idea of who his family was or could access that information. We had tried in the past, but with little or no luck. We had a couple of possibilities back in 2000 and 2001, but it wasn't his family. As I said in my previous blog, his father's wife and daughter had been searching for him for the last 14 years.

Scott and his 'potential' half-sister went through DNA testing. After years of searching, several weeks of anxious hoping, the results finally came in. The results were undeniable. It was 79% probability that they are half siblings, anything over 50% is a sure match. You cannot imagine the joy that Scott and his half-siblings had over these results! He had to talk to three of his four sisters yesterday- Denise, Sue, and Cathy. (I never thought I'd ever refer to Scott's sister...he grew up with one brother. There was NO hint of girls in the house. Poor Mrs. Denny!) And, for the very first time, he talked to his oldest brother, Jim. Though talking to his sisters was wonderful, it was when he talked to his brother that it hit him how real this all was. Scott said when he got on the phone with his brother, it was like hearing himself talking from the other end - like a recording of yourself. It's you, but it doesn't sound the way you think you sound, but you know it's your voice. That's what his brother's voice sounded like to Scott. Scott also spoke to his biological father's wife. She is just such a sweet lady, an admirable lady. They told Soctt that he sounded just like their father - southern accent and all. Their Dad was from Kentucky. Hearing Scott sounding like their Dad I think was just as emotional for them as well.

This family had been searching for years, not knowing if they were looking for a baby boy or girl. Not knowing if the child was alive or if it had been aborted. They were concerned that if it had been adopted out, did he have a good home, a good family? Was this missing sibling okay? Did he know they were looking for him? Each of them asked him if he had a good home growing up. I guess they had to hear it for themselves. And yes, Scott has the best parents anyone could ever ask for!

The DNA results were the last piece of a long string of evidence that convinced us all of what we had all been praying for. With there being no doubt as to Scott's relation to this family, all walls were down. His newfound family shared so many stories, so many wonderful memories, and lots of humor and laughter with Scott yesterday. He found out his biological Dad LOVED children. He also LOVED watching the History Channel. That he loved military history, especially. Sound familiar? As I said before, his birth Dad was a Korean War Veteran. He also received the Silver Star for gallantry in battle among other medals. Ever seen the movie Heartbreak Ridge with Clint Eastwood? Scott's biological father was at Heartbreak Ridge during that battle.

There's so much more that is happening as we forge ahead, navigating new relationships with a new family while insuring the strong bond his has for the loving parents who raised him. God has been so good in all of this and all of the pieces have fallen into place like a giant master plan. I love it when God's plan comes together!

Again, this has been a bit overwhelming at times for us as a family. It's been our top priority for several weeks, and though I'm not the adoptee in this case, it has impacted me as well. Our children have even been affected by all of this. Mathew's response has been very reserved, keeping things at arms length until he has more information. He's old enough that he has a complete understanding and it will have the most impact on him than our other two. I just don't know what he thinks about it all. Brittany has been excited and accepting. She been interested, at the right age to understand yet be more open about it. Michael, well, I don't think he really quite understands everything. Happy and blissful is his motto:-) So, if I've seemed out of place, lost, or forgetful, please know that this is why. We're taking it all in and having to sort through the emotions of it all at a very busy time in our lives. (It all started the week of FCAT- great timing for us, NOT, since we both teach!) Scott has heavily relied on me lately so most of my attention must be on him and our children as we go through this. Frankly, the emotions have physically drained both of us to the point we're plain out fatigued! We've also been spending more time with his parents as they are going through some health issues as well.

But this story isn't just about Scott. Since we've shared this with our church family, with those we work with, and with some of our students, we've witnessed God doing something amazing. We've had so many people tell us they are praying for Scott, his parents, and his birth family. There are also those who have approached us whose lives have been touched in one way or another by adoption. They are seeking to talk with Scott (or me) for advice on adoption, for advice on their adopted children, or other adoption related issues. One dear friend, who has adopted children, approached me this morning. One of her adopted children, now a young adult, had recently made contact with one of the biological parents. There's been so much going on with that situation and she wanted to talk with Scott about his situation. She also thought he and her adopted child would be able to relate to the emotions and feelings that they are experiencing...and yes there are emotions that rear up that only adoptees can understand. NO ONE can relate to what they experience. It's a unique situation.

For Scott and his parents, adoption was a blessing. I believe with all of my heart that Scott was placed in this unique situation to minister to those whose lives are touched by adoption - God has opened another door for us in ministry. When I pray for God to bless us and enlarge our territory, I'm always delighted at His response! And wow, what a response He gave us this time!

Please continue to pray, but not just for us, Scott's parents, and his biological family. Pray also for those God is sending to us, those who are searching for answers, help, and hope for their own personal situation. Please also continue to pray for my dear friends - Jodi and her Dad as he is still in the hospital in Colorado; Terri, Jeff, & their girls (The Ferro Family). Thank you friends.

In His Love, Cathy