Trading in My Cape

Please, allow me to vent. I have come to the realization that I can not be Superwoman, so, I'm trading in my cape. I in no way can do everything for everybody. I in no way can make everyone happy. Let's face it, I'm only human!

What has prompted this little epiphany of mine? Well, it goes all the way back to my New Year's Resolution to simplify my life. That resolution has now become a necessity for both health and family reasons. Quite frankly, I have deviated from my resolution over the past couple of months and took to working on Saturdays and Sundays again, with no time for my family, friends, or time to relax. Even at home I was spending most moments grading papers, planning lessons, or mostly doing church work. It was to the point that I was so utterly burned out that I even considering stepping down from ministry. But don't worry, God set me straight and made it very clear that wasn't His Will. The burn out was from my own lack of prioritizing and overextension of myself. So I'm fessing up to you, my friends, to help me be accountable.

I did finally take the last two Saturdays off to enjoy with my family. It was a much needed break. Although I wasn't able to get as much done as I usually do, the ministry is still going. Nothing has crashed and burned like I feared. I realize part of my problem is EXPECTATIONS. Others expect so much out of me, and I expect a lot out of myself. For years, I felt I had to respond to others on their timeline. But in doing so, I ran myself ragged and wasn't there for my family like I needed to be. So, I'm trying to 'train' others and myself to understand that their priorities are not necessarily the priorities of the ministry. That I must attend to the most pressing issues first and then from there prioritize what is most important - what is absolutely necessary. There is so much that goes on in ministry that people don't even see. You see, there are policies to write, worker background checks, security cards, paperwork, curriculum, VBS plans, Easter plans, special activities, lesson planning, volunteer recruiting, teacher training, emails to volunteers/families, phone calls, future planning, curriculum evalutaions, copying, meetings, budgeting, supply orders, thsirt orders, planning, and the list goes on. In addition, we often receive calls on the weekends, usually from someone in need, who is sick, or calling to tell me they can't teach. So even when I'm home, I am usually working. You see, between my full time job and ministry, I usually put in an average of 60-65 hours per week. Lately, it's been 70 - 75. Usually in the weeks before Easter through VBS, I end up putting in a minimum of 80 hours per week. But I have purposely stepped back a little this year. So, if I didn't get something to you in a time frame you felt you needed, please tell me. The ministry priorities are much different than that you might have. I will do my best to get you what you need when you need it and that is the best that I can do. But I ask the same of you as well.

I apologize if I sound whiney. I'm just being transparent with you, my friends, so you know where I am coming from. I am VERY HONORED to be in ministry. God has blessed this ministry with some wonderful people and families. Even so, God does not want me neglecting my relationship with Him nor my family for ANY REASON...not even ministry! He doesn't want that of ANYONE, not even you!

So what I am asking for here is understanding. Please understand that I've traded in my cape. There are things that I am releasing, that I just can not do or will do at a later time, that are way down on the list of priorities. If that affects you, then I apologize. Please understand that with my being bi-vocational, my time is very, very, very valuable. I have less time to be with my family so when I give my time for things, those things must be worthwhile. My children will only be young once, and I don't intend to miss it! Also, please understand that I LOVE doing ministry and though I may feel 'burned out' at times, it more from my overbooking my already full schedule and my allowing others instead of God to dictate what I do, not from a lack of love for the ministry. If you are serving in this ministry, please understand that I will support you and help you. However, it's not going to be completely perfect, but you will have what is needed when needed.

Bottom line...my priorities are God, Family, and Job (ministry)...just in that order. So, I'm not Superwoman. Big deal! I always wanted to be Wonder Woman anyway!

Thank you for letting me vent, friends! Have a blessed week!

In His Love, Cathy