As a wife, mother, teacher, and Children's Pastor, life can get really hectic at times. I'm going to admit it, I am a type A person, a control freak, a perfectionist, a very obsessive compulsive person. Yes, I am OCD and I'm not just saying this lightly. One of my three children was actually diagnosed as such and guess who the doctor said they inherited it from? Me! It does run in my side of the family. This diagnosis came after extensive testing of our child and us.
Ok, so I'm OCD, a perfectionist, little miss Type A. Believe it or not, I am more laid back now that I was when I was much younger. When my husband and I first married I ran around the house cleaning and straightening until everything was perfect. If one little thing was out of place, I'd hop right up and fix it. My husband is "Mr. Laid Back," Type B, and he admits it. He'd fuss at me because my obsessiveness drove him nuts! Although I'm still a lot like this today, I gave up on our house being perfect after we had children.
As a perfectionist, I struggle with the tendency to want to do everything myself. In my perfectionistic mind I think that I'm the only one who can do things right! Therefore, I tend to take everything on myself instead of delegating. But that's not what God wants from me. That's not what He wants from any of us.
First, life was not meant for us to live it alone. When we become a Christian, we are united in the body with other believers. Each believer has unique talents, gifts, abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. We complement each other and use our gifts together to accomplish the ministry work that God has called us to. We NEED each other just as the parts of our physical bodies need each other. Each one of us are equally important in the Body of Christ. Paul emphasized this in 1 Corinthians 12:12-31. He says in verses 12 and 13, "The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the Body of Christ. .. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we share the same Spirit." Paul goes on to say that some of the weakest and less dignified parts are some of the most neccessary parts. So how does this relate to a perfectionist? Here's how. Don't try to do everything yourself. Face it, not a single one of us has all of the gifts necessary to accomplish God's work by ourselves. Paul says so in 1 Corinthians 12: 29-31, "Are we all apostles? Are we all prophets? Are we all teachers? Do we all have the power to do miracles? Do we all have the gift of healing? Do we all have the ability to speak in unknown languages? Do we all have the ability to interpret unknown languages? Of course not! So you should earnestly desire the most helpful gifts."
Even Moses had to learn to let go and allow others to help out. In Exodus 17, Jethro, Moses' father-in-law witnessed Moses settling disputes among the people, ALL day long. This is what verse 14 says, "When Moses' father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he asked, 'What are you really accomplishing here? Why are you trying to do all this alone while everyone stands around you from morning till evening?" Jethro recognized a problem, that Moses was taking on too much. Maybe he was Type A like me. Maybe he was a perfectionist, thought he was the only one who could do the job. Verses 15-16 seems to support this, "Moses replied, 'Because the people come to me to get a ruling from God. When a dispute arises, they come to me, and I am the one who settles the case between the quarreling parties. I inform the people of God's decrees and give them his instructions.' " Perhaps Moses felt that only he was qualified to hear disputes, he was the only one who knew God's decrees. Jethro's advice was very wise..."TEACH THEM!" Pick honest, God-fearing men and teach them God's decrees so that Moses could be freed to do those things that only he could do. So, what are we really accomplishing when we try to do things on our own? Why do we take on so many things, allowing others to just stand around and watch? We're not going to accomplish much if this is how we are leading, teaching, parenting, working or whatever.
Bottom line, when we do not share the workload with others, when we don't trust others to do the job, when we are afraid to ask because we don't want to burden others - we aren't accomplishing much. Delegate! Step out of the way and allow others to step into their calling of God. By allowing others to step in and help, you are allowing others the opportunity to grow as well. At home, our children pitch in and help with housework and yardwork. This has two obvious benefits; less work on my husband and I, AND they learn how to care for their future homes. The same is true at work, in your leadership, or in ministry. Delegate. Teach others. Then step out of the way and let others grow. Be there for support and help, but don't take it back over. Ask God to help you in sending and choosing the right people. Then trust Him and them to get the job done. And if it isn't done right...unless it is critical, life or death, let it go!
Now I too must live by this!
In His Love, Cathy
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