Overcoming Complaining

"Soon the people began to complain about their hardship, and the LORD heard everything they said. Then the LORD's anger blazed against them, and he sent a fire to rage among them, and he destroyed some of the people in the outskirts of the camp." Numbers 11:1

Life is hard sometimes, isn't it? There are so many negative things in this world that affect us. As human beings, it's natural for us to focus on the negative, especially if we are in the midst of troubles. Like you, I've been through so many negative, hard experiences more times than I care to count. It's at those times that I weaken and am most prone to allow the negative to come out. Before I know it, my mouth has engaged and I've said something negative, without really meaning or wanting to!


As believers, we must be extra careful about complaining. A complaining, critical spirit indicates a couple of things about a person. First, it indicates the condition of their heart. Scripture says, "A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart." (Luke 6:45) When I came across this verse, it changed my life forever. I realized that even innocent 'venting' can turn into complaining in a hurry. I had to stop 'venting' even about the silliest of things.


Complaining not only reveals the condition of my heart, but when I complain, I'm complaining against God! When I complain, I'm saying to others, "Hey, I'm not happy with God, where He's placed me, and what He's doing!" The books of Exodus and Numbers are full of examples of the Israelites complaining among themselves. They weren't happy that they left the 'comforts' of Egypt behind. Though they were slaves, they could only remember the food and comforts that were guaranteed back in Egypt. In Exodus, they complained against Moses and Aaron about water and then about food. We find their complaints at the end of Exodus 15 and in Exodus 16. Notice what Moses said in Exodus 16:8, "...Yes, your complaints are against the LORD not against us." He wanted the people to understand that when they complained, they were truly complaining against God. Their complaints showed their lack of faith and their heart condition toward God Himself! They were saying they were dissatisfied with God and what He was doing through them and for them. Like the Israelites, when we complain, it shows that we are not thankful for blessings God has given us. It shows dissatisfaction in our relationship with Him. Is this really what we want to be saying? Complaining is detrimental to our witness for Christ.


So, as believers, we are to, "...Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people." (Phillippians 2:14 - 15) How can we be a light to the world and draw others to Christ if we have a critical, complaining spirit?


Does the Bible say that complaining is wrong? No, but complaining is wrong depending on WHO we take our complaints to. If you searched the Bible for the godly way of handling complaints, you will see many cases where the complaint is taken straight to God - not others.


"O God, listen to my complaint. Protect my life from my enemies’ threats." Psalm 64:1
"I pour out my complaints before him and tell him all my troubles." Psalm 142:2
"Lord, you always give me justice when I bring a case before you. So let me bring you this complaint:Why are the wicked so prosperous?Why are evil people so happy?" Jeremiah 12:1

If our complaint involves a person, especially another believer, we should take care to take that complaint directly to that person and not talk about it among others. Matthew 18:15-16 says, "If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confiremed by two or three witnesses." Notice, this Scripture specifically indicates that the complaint is about a sin committed against you by the other person. So, before you bring up a complaint to or against another believer, ensure that your complaint is over a sin that person has committed against you. Sometimes, we have complaints against others that don't meet this criteria - the other person did not commit a sin against us at all. It might be just a difference of opinion, something we don't like, or a disagreement over a decision. In this case, we need to go directly to that person to resolve the issue - not complain to others.

It is also wrong if our complaints are wrapped up in our own selfishness and not God's Will. "You must not test the Lord your God as you did when you complained at Massah." Deuteronomy 6:16 If we are living for Christ, any complaints we bring to God need to be done in humility. God wants to help you with your problems and complaints, but when you bring them to Him, then you must be prepared to let Him deal with them in His way. Yield yourself to His Will on the matter, then don't complain. Watch Him work in the situation. "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28


If you are struggling with a critical, complaining spirit, He can help. Though I still struggle, He's helped me and He'll help you. Just ask. Focus on Him, His Greatness, and the many blessings He has given you. Thank Him for saving you through the Blood of His Son, Jesus Christ. Focusing on Christ and what He's done for you will help you overcome complaining. After all, He suffered more injustice than anyone else ever has - and without complaint. Though innocent, He died for our sins!


I'm praying for you!
In His Love, Cathy